hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
