apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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