You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
