My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
