Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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