Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
