You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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