the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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