Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
