No stitches, just platelets and will power
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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