Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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