I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
