no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
