I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
