guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize