the new term for farting is butt boxing.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
