i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
