Soap is not a condiment
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
