Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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