Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
