Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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