i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
