Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize