i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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