i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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