No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
