Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
