You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
