Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize