I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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