how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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