Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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