Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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