Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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