what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
