I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
