Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
