so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
