First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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