Say something about gay babies.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
