I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
