Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
