Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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