absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
