Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
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I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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