I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
