hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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