The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
