Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
