I think im going to throw up on grandma
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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