I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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