Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
did you just send me my own nude
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
