So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
