Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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