we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
