I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
