nut hugger
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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