I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
