But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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