there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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