Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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