Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
